Thursday, January 20, 2005
| Paul and Ashlee
As most of you know, I’ve been having a really rough go over the past week or so. It’s been very difficult to even crack a smile. But last night, Paul surprised me by getting out of work early and we just partied and partied and had the best time together. He had me laughing so hard and we talked about some very important things that are going on in my life. He was uncharacteristically supportive and was able to remove himself from the situation to give me some excellent and much needed advice. When you feel like you don’t have a friend in the world, it makes an incredible difference to be moved so deeply by the one you love the most; the one you call your boyfriend. I was up way too late, but woke up today in the best mood. I needed a night like last night so badly. Today, I couldn’t have a care in the world. And it’s all because of Paul. In fact, he just called me to say one thing “I love being with you more than anyone else. I just love you so much.” And I love you too Paul. Another reason why my day rocks is because Ari clued me in to the best thing EVER posted on the internet. If you haven’t had the luxury of signing the Stop Ashlee Simpson petition, get on it! For everyone’s sake, you must sign this petition (I can't post the link, cuz blogger keeps on fucking up, but just go to Google and type in "Stop Ashlee Simpson Petition" and you'll be just fine). During some down time at work, I decided to go through the petition and find some of my favorite quotes left by other Ashlee haters. Most of the comments are identical: “Stop singing”, “I hate you”, “You ride on your sister’s coattails and you suck”. But some of the comments were truly original and hilarious. For example: Rob says: “Ashlee Simpson needs to embrace the mantra ‘Less singing, more suicide’”. Ian Harker says: “She is horrible – some village is missing their idiot”. Alex Tat says: “Pieces of lame is more like it” – I mean…HILARIOUS use of the word lame. Then there are the comments that come directly from the Simpson entourage: Ryan Cabrera: “Sorry guys, I tried to stop her”. Jessica Simpson: “I hate you Ashlee, u swallow”. Joe Simpson: “Stop singing so I can fuck you.” The comments that made me shit myself with laughter sometimes have nothing to do with Ashlee at all: Bukkake Von Kunt says: “You are gayer than my friend Steve”. Zorn says: “Strossus is a fag”. Bob Carnifax: “I like to work on cars.” Count Dracula says: “I like to eat pussy when it’s nice and red…discharging hot bloody fish-smelling bacteria pus-like trichomonas vaginitis…mmmmm vaginitis.” But the funniest comments to me are the following: Sfd says: “her nose is weird”. Jeni says: “I hope you burn and die with a pencil in your butthole and love in your heart.” Dirty Sanchez says: “Ashlee likes the dirty Sanchez”. Jared Smith says: “Unmitigated douchebaggery”. Dick Gazina says: “I think she should introduce her manhood to everyone.” Man…this petition has totally made my day! If you have a free second, do your part to end the Ashlee Simpson monster that is destroying the habitat AND the humanity. Eventually she will go to sleep, but how soon and for how long is up to you. Have a fantastic day all! And may it be “LALA” free! |
